Your life will be far more interesting if you pursue what you want to, not what you 'should'.
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In the summer of 2019, my father quit his decades-long, multi-country, high-flying corporate career to leave shiny Singapore and…move to India to become a university professor.
At the time, I was entirely taken aback by his seemingly ‘left-field’ decision. I couldn’t — and, admittedly, didn’t want to — fully understand it at all. Why would you ‘unravel’ years of hard work in climbing the corporate ladder just to ‘give it all up’ and teach?
I was, of course, very naive (and very wrong).
Fast forward to today, and I see the vastly positive difference my father’s decision has had on his life. In a nutshell, the 2021 Papa Miglani is far, far happier and more fulfilled than his 2019 alter ego.
And this is simply because he chose to defy what was ‘expected’ of him, to stare uncertainty squarely in the face, and to tell convention to be on its way.
Today, I fully understand his decision. And that’s because convention may get you far, but courage will always take you one step further.
I had always (rather arrogantly) believed I was destined for something great. Equipped with unwavering determination and questionable perfectionism, I entered university with red-hot ambition. And, somehow, my definition of ‘ambitious’ at the ripe young age of 18 was ‘to become a management consultant’.
Am I to blame for this fairly narrow-minded outlook? Well, partly.
You see, Freshers’ Week at university means you’re showered with free pens from Deloitte, notebooks from BCG, mugs from Morgan Stanley. And as a broke university student, you happily embrace the freebies bestowed upon you by the gods of the only two career options available: consulting and investment banking.
And so you follow one path. But what about following your heart? No time for that at a Russell Group. Conversations with my friends were constantly peppered with our go-to refrains: ‘have you written your Bain cover letter yet?’; ‘this is exactly how long your CV needs to be to get an interview at McKinsey’.
The management consultant lifestyle was just marketed excellently to me, with its wide industry exposure, fun problem-solving opportunities, and (seemingly) glamorous travel. So, when I did eventually return to university to complete my degree, I did everything I could to enter the holy grail of consulting. And I did.
But just one year in, and I knew the seemingly idyllic consulting life wasn’t for me — at all. Sure, I loved to travel, but my travel dreams weren’t the stuff of redeye flights, frantic hotel breakfasts that prioritised spreadsheets over scrambled eggs, and endless hours in windowless client rooms. And who had time for those coveted gym memberships when you were spending your nights climbing mountains of PowerPoint presentations and wrestling with Excel formulae?
Eventually, it became clear to me that I was becoming increasingly disconnected from, and disenchanted with, the work I was doing — the work that was filling the majority (if not all) of my existence.
And then, in March of 2020, something happened.
I started writing publicly. And then I started this blog. And then everything changed.
The more I wrote, the more I felt a long-dormant part of myself coming alive, the more I felt a work-all-night-but-not-detest-it drive — a drive that only strengthened until I simply couldn’t ignore it anymore. Here I was, finally pursuing a passion, a project that made me wake up with a smile, every single day.
So, in January 2021, two years after I touched down in Mumbai to become a management consultant, I took an overdue leap of faith. I quit.
There’s no doubt about it; consulting is an intellectually stimulating and incredibly rewarding career for many. So, my particular experience and subsequent exit is by no means reflective of the industry — one that’s filled with highly intelligent individuals who do love their work.
But I left simply because I was tired of pursuing a career that I was meant to or supposed to, thanks to casual conditioning at university. I was tired of settling, of tolerating.
And that’s because if there’s one thing my peripatetic life has taught me, it’s that life simply cannot just be tolerated. It has to be lived, to be spent pursuing a passion that makes sense to you.
Now, I’ve found myself on the right path for me. Not by destroying or abandoning the previous path, but by simply course correcting, by getting myself back on track to what I always knew I wanted to do, but never dared: pursuing a career in writing.
And that’s the problem with conventionality.
Conventionality doesn’t allow us to dare or to dream. It simply confines us to a fate of doing the ‘right’ thing.
What that ‘right thing’ is, doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter if it doesn’t fill you with joy or light up your soul. As long as you’re following convention, you’re good — you’re ‘sorted.’ But, ultimately, chances are you won’t feel fulfilled and, if you’re as restless as me, you’ll eventually combust.
Of course, the transition from management consultant to writer was far from easy or seamless (and that’s another story for another day). But it wouldn’t have even been a possibility if I’d chosen to stick to what I was ‘meant to’ be doing.
Yet here I am, one year later, and I can say I’ve done it. I’ve put in the hard work. I’ve made the (scary) life changes. And every minute of it since then has been worth it.
Why are so many of us afraid to defy convention and plunge into the deep end? Is it because we’re afraid that we may actually find what we’ve been looking for, once we make it there?
Well, I’m no longer allowing myself to be afraid. Because if I did, I’d be ignoring the most important thing — the thing that, quite literally, keeps me alive: my heart.
Until next time,
S
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‘After choosing the path people wanted, the man who would do, the easy way out of things…after holding it all in my hands and refusing it, what do I want from life?’
— From the novel Less, by Andrew Sean Greer
Cover image captured in Mount Abu, Rajasthan, India.