‘We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.’
— Lori Gottlieb
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Two weeks ago, I did something that scared me.
I was interviewed for one of my favourite podcasts. Honoured by the invitation, and thrilled to have achieved this milestone relatively early in my tiny blogging career, I was excited for a new challenge.
But then, of course, panic decided to set in. It sunk in that this would be a live stream, on YouTube, and I would be answering questions on the spot. My excitement was swiftly replaced with nerves, and I convinced myself I wouldn’t know how to answer the questions asked (questions which, ultimately, would be about my life - so if I didn’t have the answers, I’m not sure who would).
As someone who cherishes the semi-anonymity and careful editing that comes from a passion built on the written word, I was also uncertain I’d come across well on audio and video.
Then, to my surprise, the live stream went swimmingly and - most importantly - I had such a good time. But I’m not sure why I’m surprised that I surprised myself.
Why? Because every single time I’ve leapt out of my comfort zone, into the unknown and the unpredictable, I am always glad that I have - no matter how positive or negative the experience.
And so, with the pure relief and satisfaction of completing my first podcast interview, came a reminder of a key tenet of my approach to life: to keep pushing the artificial limits of my comfort zone to discover what I’m really capable of achieving, experiencing, and - ultimately - becoming.
I have a ‘what if’ problem. And it is because of this problem that I often find myself saying yes to the experiences I never imagined I would try.
What if I had turned down the podcast interview? What if I’d shied away from the invitation, favouring comfort over courage and challenge? I would have forgone the opportunity to interact with one of this blog’s most loyal supporters, the opportunity to speak about my work in an unrehearsed, spontaneous setting, and the opportunity to further build my serendipity vehicle. And so, as the ‘what if’ became too powerful to ignore, I took a much-needed plunge out of my comfort zone.
My move to Mexico in 2013 is the strongest evidence I have of the magic that exiting your comfort zone can pour into your life. When I was a second-year foreign languages student in the UK, I was presented with a pretty binary decision for the location of my third year abroad: to move to nearby Spain, or to fly halfway across the world and try out life in Monterrey, Mexico.
As I was weighing up the two options, a niggling thought increasingly made itself at home in my mind: what if I did head to Spain, and settle in to a comfortable, familiar, exchange student bubble a mere two-hour flight from home? Would I be satisfied, or would I perpetually be wondering what it would have been like to live in Mexico, of all places?
And so, I gave in to the ‘what if’. I chose Mexico.
At the time, among my peers and family, this decision was considered left field, risky, and - to some - the wrong decision.
It is also, still, the best decision I have ever made.
This particular decision to leave my comfort zone resulted in one of the most beautiful years of my life. Mexico is a stunning country, with some of the most friendly, positive, and fun-loving people you will meet. I was fortunate to make a wonderful group of local friends - who remain dear friends to this day - and an overflowing bucket of adventure-soaked memories to last me a lifetime.
So, perhaps, my what-if ‘problem’ is not a problem, after all.
But, of course, you don’t need to make a dramatic, consequential decision - such as moving to another continent - to start jumping out of your comfort zone.
Take my (completely unexpected) love for the award-winning musical, Hamilton. On a particularly sunny drive to work one morning in Malaysia, a dear friend of mine - also a fierce proponent of experimenting with new challenges - popped the cast album on her car speakers. At first - almost immediately - I declared I wasn’t a ‘musical person’. Somehow, despite never having watched a musical, I knew I didn’t like them. And so, I wouldn’t be liking Hamilton. Case closed.
But Hamilton (and my friend) had other plans for me. And so, the more I attempted to be open-minded to the possibility of actually liking this thing, the more this thing quickly became something I fell for, head-over-heels. Through the storyline, the rapping, and the singing, the level of inspiration Hamilton brings me is, always, next to none (and my ability to recite every word of the Satisfied rap is a pretty handy - and my only - party trick).
So, undoubtedly, leaping out of your comfort zone will open infinitely more interesting doors for you - regardless of how small the leap.
Why then, don’t more people do it?
Why do so many make their home within the confines of their comfort zone, and simply settle down in it for the long-haul?
Because leaving the comfortable, the known and the knowable, is a risk. And because when everything is swimming along just fine as it is, why disrupt the peace and the (glacial) pace?
From Mexico to musicals, it is clear that my life has been peppered with incredibly enriching experiences that have solely come from jumping out of my comfort zone.
But that is not to say that every time you leave your comfort zone, the experience will be a positive one.
I think it is this fear - the fear that everything may go awry - that stops so many of us from venturing beyond the dreaming and ideation phase and into the realm of realisation.
And I can see why. There have been, naturally, multiple instances in which my boundary-shattering approach to life has not turned out as planned.
Last year, I took on yet another life-altering challenge: to move to India, alone, for the first time since 1992 (which, yes, was when I was born). My ‘what if’ itch was urging me to, finally, fully, experience the country in which my father spent the first thirty years of his life, the country for which I have always held a passport yet never experienced.
Unfortunately, my time in India so far has not been overly easy or satisfying. I still don’t feel I belong here, and I am not sure I ever will.
But that’s okay, because what matters most to me is that I tried - and I am still trying. I banished the ‘what if’. And leaving behind the familiar - no matter how unfamiliar the alternative - will always teach you something. In this case, I have learnt the importance of adaptability, and of patience, in the face of uncertainty.
So, if you really, truly, want to keep growing, you will need to be prepared for the uncertainty and discomfort that comes with any disruption to your life. Plans may veer off course, but that is a small price to pay for the invaluable lessons you’ll be picking up along the way.
And so, for better or for worse, this is my life strategy of choice. I know that in order to keep learning and experiencing, I need to keep exiting, left field, out of my comfort zone.
So I’ll be seeing you there, in the magic of the unknown and the unfamiliar.
Until next time,
S
