Let’s resist the urge to always do. Sometimes, it’s enough to simply be.
Today’s post originally started off with this gentle reminder to myself, but judging by the conversations I’ve had with friends far and wide, it’s clear that this is a reminder many are craving right now.
I’ve just emerged from a bout of being a little under the weather, a bout that confined me to the role of human burrito, glued to the sofa with a free-flowing supply of books and hot drinks. I couldn’t muster the energy to work, blog, or exercise - essentially, anything conventionally considered to be ‘productive’. But, what should have been a dreamy few days of much-needed relaxation was quickly tainted by the inevitable, panic-induced fear: ‘I’m wasting my time’.
I’ve been feeling this thing lately. A sense that I should always be doing something productive - whether it’s an online course, extra work on my website, something, anything. Initially, these thoughts began as a quiet background hum, only invading my mind on the rare occasions it was given to slow down. But naturally, with lockdown orders bestowing on us the double-edged gift of extra time, I’ve felt the noise of these thoughts steadily rise in decibel levels.
And, as I slowly sweep away the remains of the cognitive fuzziness brought on by sickness, I’ve started to realise how this productivity-obsessed mindset can be, ironically, wholly unproductive.
So, it’s time for a much-needed antidote to our unhealthy need to always be switched on.
Ever since I published my first blog post, I’ve been living and breathing this website. It’s completely become a part of me, in the best possible way. After a slight lull, I’ve finally discovered the spark needed to reignite my passion for storytelling, and it excites me every single day. But, as with so many fun side projects, I find the pressure increasing - the standards getting loftier, the goals growing larger. And so I can’t help feeling that, in order for this little project to ‘succeed’, I must constantly work on it.
While there may be more technical terms for this feeling that I, and many others, are striving to tame, I think ‘productivity guilt’ sums it up pretty neatly. It’s guilt - that niggling notion that you should be doing something productive when, by your definition, you’re not. What that ‘something’ is, you’re not always sure. But you just feel that - no matter what - you must keep moving.
I’m pretty certain that this productivity guilt is an unhappy by-product of the ‘hustle culture’ that is increasingly seeping into our online and offline conversations. Hustle culture is making it trendy - and worryingly normal - to work all the time, to push and exceed our limits. My take? While this culture may seem motivating at first, it will never be sustainable and will always be detrimental to both your physical and mental health.
I scrolled past a particularly toxic #hustleculture post the other day: a visual implying that, if people really wanted to achieve their goals, they’d be starting their Saturday mornings making spreadsheets, not pancakes. What? No. Please - start your weekends with pancakes. Those moments are exactly what you need to fuel your creativity, your productivity. If you’re always ‘on’, your work will never be able to reach its full potential.
I get it, though. In principle, it would be magical to just turn off on cue, but it’s not a straightforward process. As a creative, I find my brain is continuously whirring with new ideas, plans, visions - and it takes a lot of effort to simply tune out this static. However, while pursuing your passion is an absolutely exhilarating feeling, it does not mean you have to become a productivity machine. On the contrary, it means you’ll have to work extra hard to protect your mental peace.
A couple of weeks ago, my own passion took a holiday. I was knee-deep in the page-turner that is Sapiens, and - for the first time in a long time - I wasn’t in the mood to haul out my laptop and punch out the blog post for that week. I just couldn’t put down the book, and was feeling far too guilty about it. I shouldn’t have. If I could go back, I’d tell myself to quit the guilt - to keep reading, and to trust that good writing would come when it had to, when the inspiration and motivation flowed.
And, over the course of this blogging experiment, I’ve slowly come to realise that without the cosy reading sessions, the precious time with family and friends, the little bursts of technology-free respite, I wouldn’t even have the inspiration needed to write, to create. So, just as I used to force myself to be productive, I’m now forcing myself to switch off.
And - obviously, naturally - after a healthy few days of social distance from the laptop, devouring novels and risotto in fairly equal quantities, I always feel mentally refreshed, ready to churn out my best creative work yet. It’s a simple enough result, but one that we often forget how to achieve.
Catching a cold finally gave me the permission I (thought I) needed to slow down. But, of course, it shouldn’t get to this point for us to finally get the hint and stop moving.
So, know when to take a break, and take it - no excuses.
If you, like me, find yourself overwhelmed by a constant pressure to be productive, I hope these words will remind you to turn it down a notch. Whether it's a book you want to get lost in for a few hours, a film you’ve been meaning to watch, or a relaxing recipe you’ve been eager to try - just do it.
Your dreams will still be there for you when you come back, when you’re ready to chase them again. In fact, they’ll be there in much higher definition.
And when you do eventually catapult yourself back into an action-packed post-lockdown life, I hope you’ll remember that sometimes, it’s okay to just press pause.
Until next time,
S
Cover image captured in Ipoh, Malaysia.
