Just keep showing up.
I’ll admit it. I was very tempted to skip this week’s post. And here’s why.
Recently, my life was injected with a small (and much-needed) dose of extra activity. And so, at the end of most days, I’ve collapsed into an exhausted puddle, curled up with hot chamomile tea and - unnervingly - no real desire to write, to edit, to promote, to turn the cogs that keep this blog running.
And so, I toyed with the idea of giving this post a miss, of ignoring my self-imposed deadlines, my (seemingly) arbitrary schedule - a schedule that promises you, reader, a steady stream of fresh blog posts.
Negotiating yourself out of creating is an easy task. When you have a small audience, it’s easy to wonder if anyone will really mind if you skip a blog post, to feed yourself myths of the ‘what’s the point?’ variety - the ones that lead you to alternative pursuits that promise instant gratification and, supposedly, satisfaction.
And the truth is, you probably won’t mind if my blog post doesn’t turn up in your inbox one particular week. But it can’t be about that. What it should be about, is honouring the promise I made to myself.
The promise to just keep showing up - no matter what.
For the first time in six months, my latest piece is not a post on this blog.
Instead, it’s my very first guest post as a blogger.
I was recently asked to write an article on my relationship with money for This Girl Invests, an inspiring female-led initiative that aims to empower more women to take control of their financial life. Naturally, I was thrilled by the possibility of playing a small role in contributing to this particular mission.
However, my chaotic, ever-evolving, financial journey was certainly not a topic I thought I’d be comfortable writing about. Which is exactly why I accepted the opportunity. After all, my last post sang the endless praises of leaving your comfort zone - not staying firmly put in the familiar.
And, beautifully, what started with seemingly inescapable writer’s block has somehow, very surprisingly, become one of my favourite pieces to date.
I hope you’ll tap on the link below to check it out, and that you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Tap here to read my first guest post.
Two weeks ago, I did something that scared me.
I was interviewed for one of my favourite podcasts. Honoured by the invitation, and thrilled to have achieved this milestone relatively early in my tiny blogging career, I was excited for a new challenge.
But then, of course, panic decided to set in. It sunk in that this would be a live stream, on YouTube, and I would be answering questions on the spot. My excitement was swiftly replaced by nerves.
As someone who cherishes the semi-anonymity and careful editing that comes from a passion built on the written word, I was also uncertain I’d come across well on audio and video.
Then, to my surprise, the live stream went swimmingly and - most importantly - I had such a good time. But I’m not sure why I’m surprised that I surprised myself.
Why? Because every single time I’ve leapt out of my comfort zone, into the unknown and the unpredictable, I am always glad that I have - no matter how positive or negative the experience.
And so, with the pure relief and satisfaction of completing my first podcast interview, came a reminder of a key tenet of my approach to life: to keep pushing the artificial limits of my comfort zone to discover what I’m really capable of achieving, experiencing, and - ultimately - becoming.
I’m writing this post from the throes of a reading slump. Dramatic, maybe. Deflating, definitely. A reading slump - notorious for its frustrating lack of focus in the face of an ever-growing mountain of fresh paperbacks - is not a comfortable feeling for someone like me, someone who is a hopelessly devoted bibliophile.
I love reading books, buying (far too many) books, talking about books, and yes, I could listen to other people talk about books till the cows come home.
And so, if there’s one sure-fire way to gently pull me back into the delightful depths of the reading zone, it’s through a handful of inspiring book podcasts.
As I find myself increasingly indulging in some of my favourites these days, I’ve decided to cut through the book podcast clutter and curate some dulcet-toned recommendations for you today.
This little blog has been trundling along for close to half a year now. Since its launch, I’ve (reluctantly) ended a two-year social media hiatus to install myself on Twitter, crawl back to Instagram, and even start leveraging LinkedIn. All or nothing they say, and - right now - it looks like I’ve chosen all.
But at the start of the blogging journey, I only shared my first pieces with close friends, slipping links into our emails and text messages. The prospect of publishing anything on social media made my cup overflow with an unnecessary dose of anxiety, with thoughts centred around a dreaded common theme: ‘is this content even good enough to warrant a triple-digit like count?’
And now, the more I populate the social media realm with my work, the more I’ve come to realise how heavily we rely on - and crave - instant gratification in the form of likes, comments, and shares.
Why aren’t we satisfied with our own self-worth, our unique value? Why do we seek validation from others online, in the hopes of reassuring ourselves that we are, in fact, good enough?
As I write this, many parts of the world are slowly, steadily, emerging from the surreal haze of self-isolation, a lockdown that limited us to the confines of our rooms, our kitchens, our balconies. Some are now gingerly edging back into a new, sanitised edition of their pre-lockdown life, while others are bravely entering a life that is wholly different, one that is unrecognisable from anything preceding it.
Life in lockdown has given us a lot of time to think - and overthink - without the noise and neurosis of ‘real’ life to distract us. As I now prepare to stride back into that real world, armed with the insights gained this year, I’ve been contemplating what I want my life to look like on the other side of all this. What I want my priorities to be, and how I want life to function in order to focus on these priorities. A blueprint, if you will, for my ideal life - one that will preserve the progress and momentum of the past five months.
For this week’s post, I’ve distilled this blueprint into the two key lessons I’ve learnt over the course of this once-in-a-lifetime lockdown experiment. Here goes.
Comparing yourself to others - the ultimate weapon of mass distraction.
I’ve never been one to get distracted easily. When I find myself in the depths of a particular task - writing up a blog post, reading a book - it’s pretty difficult to come back up to the surface, to the world cluttered with notifications and calls. But just show me one example of someone my age seemingly doing life ‘better’ than me, and that’s it. The focus is shattered, and the thoughts start pushing through the floodgates: ‘They’re doing all that, while I’m only doing this.’
For the next few hours - or worse, days - that razor-sharp focus I had directed on my goals is lost, blunted by panic-laced comparison. And then, just like that, demotivation takes ambition’s seat at the table, and progress is stunted.
We know that comparing our growth to that of others is one of the most destructive habits out there. So, why do we insist on doing it? And how can we stop doing it? How can we redirect that energy into the work that really matters - the work that’s needed to achieve our goals?
Make your dreams work harder than your excuses do.
The more I chase this blogging dream, the more tangible it becomes, the more potential it shows. And this is simply because I’ve actually started to pursue the dream, rather than just think about it.
It’s not - and never - too late to change lanes, to choose action over inaction, to follow the path that actually leads to the realisation of our dreams. So, why don’t we do it? Why do we delay it?
Why do we so often dream, only to end up just settling for mediocrity - light-years away from that dream?
Something a little different for you today.
My online feeds have been increasingly populated with videos on the art of conducting a mid-year life audit, and I’ve decided it’s time to put my (utterly predictable) spin on it: a mid-year reading audit.
So, here’s a micro review of each of the 15 books I’ve read so far this year, paired with a quick-and-ready rating out of 5.
Enjoy.
Let’s resist the urge to always do. Sometimes, it’s enough to simply be.
Today’s post originally started off with this gentle reminder to myself, but judging by the conversations I’ve had with friends far and wide, it’s clear that this is a reminder many are craving right now.
I’ve just emerged from a bout of being a little under the weather, a bout that confined me to the role of human burrito, glued to the sofa with a free-flowing supply of books and hot drinks. I couldn’t muster the energy to work, blog, or exercise - essentially, anything conventionally considered to be ‘productive’. But, what should have been a dreamy few days of much-needed relaxation was quickly tainted by the inevitable, panic-induced fear: ‘I’m wasting my time’.
So, we’ve talked about the difficulties of answering the inevitable ‘where are you from?’ question when I’m first getting to know someone. But, a little further into the same conversation, it’s likely we’ll stumble upon the next tricky question: ‘Why did your degree take 7 years to complete?’
I had embarked on a 4-year degree in 2011, only to graduate in 2018. What happened? Why didn’t I graduate in 2015, like I was ‘meant’ to?
Here’s the story.
For most of us, summer has arrived.
For me, that means it’s time to bask in the sunshine with a handful of my favourite podcasts, the dulcet tones of familiar hosts streaming through the warm, lazy air.
I’ve been a diehard podcat ever since I quickly, breathlessly, worked my way through the first season of Serial in one day back in 2015, entirely encapsulated in Sarah Koenig’s storytelling. And so, that was it - Serial was my gateway podcast, if you will, and I was well and truly hooked.
It’s funny; despite my (not-so-secret and definitely unhealthy) obsession with books, I’ve never been particularly keen on audiobooks. But give me a couple of pacy, punchy podcasts to listen to, and I’ll happily do all the household chores you want, all day long.
It’s time to get meta.
So, it looks like I’ve finally embarked on my blogging journey - just seven years behind schedule.
Yup, I first toyed with the idea of launching a blog all the way back in 2013, but just never took the proverbial plunge. At the time, I was living in Mexico of all places - a beautiful country, where I was lucky to live out some of my most exciting adventures to date. I was practically bursting at the seams with stories about my new life, about a life lived in a different language in a faraway land. If it sounds like a fairytale, that’s because it pretty much was.
And yet, I was keeping this particular fairytale to myself. Despite being a lifelong writer, I never fired up the blog.
Why?
‘Where are you from?’
Where do I begin?
It’s no secret that identity is an intricate and highly nuanced concept, and that tackling it is a pretty herculean feat. But that’s also precisely why I want to tackle it today - to get under the skin of that nuance, to expose the true essence of what it means to be ‘from’ somewhere.
And my identity? That just opens another can of worms. A regular reader of this (tiny) blog would be no stranger to my particularly nomadic lifestyle - a lifestyle built across continents and time zones - that has resulted in an identity which is, naturally, an amalgamation of the cultures and languages that have populated my journey so far. All this makes for an exploration of identity that is even more exciting (or complicated - you decide).
So, you want to read more. Perfect - this one’s for you.
But before you embark on the (ultimately addictive) journey of becoming a habitual reader, it’s important you set the scene. Decide your why. Why do you want to read more? Does it come from an urge to cut down on screen time? Or is it simply because you stopped reading for a hot minute and now you are just about the only person who hasn’t read any Sally Rooney yet?
Once you find your why, use this to fuel your motivation to read more.
Not all friendships are created equal.
Remind yourself of this, before you give your time out to just about anyone.
As I write this, we are fumbling our way through the eerie age of ‘social distancing’ - more physically apart from our friends than we have been in most of our lifetimes. While this has changed how we spend time with these friends, it has also given the over-thinker in me a chance to reflect on my friendships - friendships past, present, and ever-present.
And so, courtesy of my insatiable need to categorise/organise everything in life, I have crafted a line-up of the 4 types of friendship I’ve harboured in the choppy waters of my life so far.
This one’s been a tricky one to write, and an even trickier one to share. But here we are. Here goes.
A friend of mine I had lost contact with reached out on Instagram the other day: ‘Where are you living now? I can’t keep up!’ The message reminded me that, despite all the bumps along the road, I have been privileged enough to close up shop and move country almost every year for the past few years. I spent my 23rd birthday in China, turned 24 in Malaysia, 25 in the UK, and 26 in Singapore. So yes, let me preface this post by saying: I know I have been very lucky.
And the reply to that friend’s message? I am in Mumbai, India, and have been for the last year.
But I don’t love it.
When I moved to India just over a year ago, I wasn’t sure what to expect. While there has been no shortage of surprises - both the great, and the not-so-great - I certainly didn’t expect to be drinking Indian wine. It’s no secret that India wholeheartedly loves its Johnnie Walker, but perhaps lesser-known is its small but burgeoning wine industry. Once I heard about this, I knew I had to learn more. So Papa Miglani and I booked a trip to check out Sula Vineyards, Nashik - one of India’s largest wine producers - located in the western state of Maharashtra.
And that’s how we found ourselves, one long, sunny weekend in February, hotfooting it to Nashik. The journey from Mumbai is a straightforward one. I chose to take the train from CST station to Nashik Road station - about a 3.5-hour journey. The last leg of the journey is easily done via Ola or Uber in a 40-minute drive (or 30, if my eagerly speeding driver is anything to go by).
So, we’re locked in. What now?
Anyone who knows me well will know what I’m about to suggest: If you’re stuck inside, get stuck in - to a good book (or 3).
Life is tricky to navigate at the moment and, to me, reading is the perfect escape - even if only for a little while. When I was going through a particularly rough patch last year, I found books to be an incredible source of respite and calm. I hope that in our current situation, you’ll find that you feel the same way too.
With that in mind, I’ve come up with a list of 3 books I think are perfect to curl up with right now.
